Most of us grew up learning that sex is risky. Sex Ed focused on pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and "don't do it." No one told us that sex is actually good for our bodies — for health, for hormones, and for pleasure.
As someone in midlife, I've come to realize how powerful sexual activity can be for physical, emotional, and pelvic health. But I had to learn this on my own, after surgical menopause in 2018 forced me to understand what sex education never taught me.
In sex education, I learned:
- Sex only matters for reproduction
- Sex is risky and dangerous
- Abstinence is the safest path
What we weren't taught is that sex is therapeutic, body-strengthening, and pleasurable — and that it benefits women at any age.
I heard that sex makes babies and spreads disease. They never taught us about health, wellness, or the role sexuality plays in our overall wellbeing.
Health Benefits of Sexual Activity
Sex is more than pleasure; it's an exercise and wellness routine for your pelvic floor and body. Research confirms what sex ed never taught us:
Pelvic floor engagement: A 2022 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that orgasms naturally strengthen pelvic floor muscles. Researchers compared women who did Kegel exercises alone versus those who combined Kegels with sexually induced orgasms — the orgasm group had significantly better pelvic floor strength and sexual function. The study concluded that orgasms could be used as a therapeutic tool for pelvic floor rehabilitation, noting that muscles contract during arousal and orgasm, keeping them strong.
Blood flow and tissue elasticity: Increased circulation during sexual activity maintains vaginal health and tissue suppleness. This becomes particularly important during and after menopause, when hormonal changes can affect tissue elasticity.
Hormonal balance: According to Cleveland Clinic, orgasms release oxytocin (the "bonding hormone") and dopamine (the pleasure neurotransmitter), both of which boost mood and reduce stress. These aren't just feel-good chemicals — they have measurable effects on your physical and emotional health.
Mood and stress reduction: Sexual activity lowers cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and enhances emotional wellness. Regular sexual activity has been linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety.
Bone and core support: Engaging pelvic floor muscles during sexual activity indirectly supports posture, bladder control, and overall core strength. These muscles support your bladder, bowel, and reproductive organs…and sexual activity is one way to keep them strong.
Pleasure as Therapy
Sex isn't just for reproduction. The sensations and orgasms you experience:
- Release feel-good hormones that improve mood
- Improve self-esteem and body confidence
- Build confidence in your own sexuality
- Foster connection with yourself and your partner
This is especially important in midlife, when hormonal changes may make sexual health and pleasure feel more distant …but with awareness and the right support, it can actually improve.
A Midlife Perspective
Here's what I learned after surgical menopause that sex education never taught me:
Estrogen decline can reduce natural lubrication and elasticity. But research shows that hormone replacement therapy can restore tissue health in 75–90% of cases. According to The Menopause Society, HRT improves blood flow, rebuilds vaginal cells, and can enhance sexual experience.
One study found that 85% of menopausal women who had stopped being sexually active due to symptoms regained normal sexual function within 12 weeks of treatment.
Sexual pleasure can actually be as strong or stronger than in youth, especially with mindfulness, communication, and understanding your body. Midlife can bring more self- knowledge, better communication with partners, and freedom from earlier shame or judgment.
Practical Tips for Midlife Sexual Wellness
- Use lubrication to improve comfort and pleasure during sexual activity
- Strengthen your pelvic floor regularly with Kegels or pelvic floor physical therapy — and remember that orgasms count as pelvic floor exercise
- Communicate openly with your partner about needs, desires, and any changes you're experiencing
- Schedule intimacy as self-care, not just "whenever." Treat it as a health priority rather than an afterthought
- Embrace pleasure as a legitimate form of health maintenance, just like exercise or nutrition
- Talk to your healthcare provider about hormone therapy if you're experiencing vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, or loss of desire after menopause. If HRT isn't an option for you, ask about alternatives. There are non-hormonal treatments available.
Personal Insight
I only realized in midlife that sex isn't just fun — it's good for my body.
It strengthens my pelvic floor, keeps my tissues supple, improves my mood, and makes me feel alive.
I wish I had known this in my younger years. I wish someone had taught me that sexuality is part of wellness, not separate from it. I wish I'd understood that my body was designed for pleasure, not just reproduction.
But the good news is: It's never too late to start.
Whether you're 30, 50, or 70 — your body is still capable of pleasure, connection, and the health benefits that come with sexual wellness.
Call to Action
Don't wait until problems arise. Explore your sexual wellness proactively.
Strengthen your pelvic floor. Embrace pleasure. Reclaim your health.
Sex is not just fun. It's essential.
It's part of being human, being healthy, and being fully alive in your own body.
Sources & Further Reading
This article draws on research from:
- Bhat, G.S., & Shastry, A. (2022). Sexually Induced Orgasm to Improve Postpartum Pelvic Floor Muscle Strength and Sexual Function in Primiparous Women After Vaginal Delivery. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 19:1634–1643.
- The Menopause Society (2025). Hormone Therapy for Sexual Function — Treatment guidelines for genitourinary syndrome of menopause
- Cleveland Clinic (2022). 5 Benefits of a Healthy Sex Life
- Multiple peer-reviewed studies on pelvic floor muscle strength and sexual function published in PMC (PubMed Central) and medical journals
For more information on sexual wellness:
- North American Menopause Society (NAMS)
- Cleveland Clinic Sexual Health Resources
- The Menopause Society
- Mayo Clinic Women's Health
If this article helped you understand the health benefits of sexuality, please share it. Too many women are suffering in silence, not knowing that sexual wellness is part of overall health — and that it's never too late to reclaim it.